


The Blood of What We've Done

by veleda_k



Category: White Collar
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 23:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5645698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veleda_k/pseuds/veleda_k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel's life, like all lives, has been a series of choices. Spoilers for 6x01.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Blood of What We've Done

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sapphire2309](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire2309/gifts).



"We're more than just the blood of what we've done."

\- William Fitzsimmons, "Bird Of Winter Prey"

 

 

Rachel has never kept track of her kills. The people who do that are ones with something to prove. Rachel's never needed to prove anything. Not to herself, not to anyone else.

She's killed a lot of people though. She knows that much. Enough to make her name a feared whisper through the underworld. Many of her names, actually. She knew her skill, and everyone else knew her reputation, and that had been all she needed.

Until now.

Rachel wonders if she could have really done it. If she could have walked out of Rachel Turner and into Rebecca Lowe forever. She would have tried. But blood lingers. 

The stories told about Rachel are legendary. Some are exaggerated, but most of them are true. She really did take out three armed guards with a nail file. 

She took pride in those stories. Rachel has never been sentimental, but she liked knowing that people would remember her after she was gone. Now she wonders if those stories will really be all that's left of her. It was supposed to be enough. It used to be enough.

It's all Neal's fault. Without him, Rachel never would have wanted anything more. She wasn't happy before, but she thought she was, and there's not much difference between the two.

She thought she could be what Neal wanted. She thought she could make him want her. Between Neal and the diamond, Rachel played for the highest stakes possible, and she lost. There's nothing unfair in that, not really. 

Neal knows that too, even if he won't admit it to himself. In that way they truly are alike. They know that when you throw the dice, you risk losing. 

She's saved his life. That's all she can do. She can't force him to admit the truth, even if admitting it would make it hurt less in the long run. She can't protect him from what's coming.

Rachel hopes Neal listens to her warning. She hopes he makes good use of the time he has left. And she hopes he remembers her, the real her. She wants to think that she'll leave behind more than blood and rumors. Trust has never been her strong suit, but she has to trust him with that.

Rachel won't fade away in prison. She'll go out on her own terms. What she leaves behind after that won't be up to her.

She hopes it will be something more than blood.


End file.
